Looking back 2011

January was a tough month - Pops was in ICU and facing uncertainty.  Definitely made for long sleepless nights that is for sure.

February was pretty laid back - Pop's miracle came through - God definitely touched his life and healed him!!!  A lot of birthdays (Ken, Ben, Poppy) and of course Valentine's Day.  Which we cooked in for instead of going out.  It was nice for sure!

March brought the birth of Savannah, our newest little niece, Amanda's first baby was born on her own birthday!  Along with that we had other birthdays (Tyler, Travis, Analia).  We also participated in our first 5K - the McGuire's 5K run.

April I went to the Women's E-conference with the church.  Spent wonderful time with my mom and sister along with the other loverly ladies of the church.  This was also the time Jaime and I started becoming friends!



May was an exciting month - we travelled to Tampa to see Ken walk with his graduating class for his Master's Degree!!  I am so proud of him!

June brought on the summer - fun times with friends and family - not to mention Aiyana, Pops, Hunter, and my birthdays!

July was a laid back month of friends and family. I went shark fishing for the first time with new friends Josh and Jessica, we went on a double date with Dane and Jaime, and out nieces & nephews continue to grow every day!

August - we bought a new car!



September was a busy month! We had daddy's big 50th surprise party!!! Then Keaton's birthday. Then the Dyal Family reunion- the weekend long family reunion at Camp Timpoochee. 

In October my baby brother turned 21 - man I'm getting old. We spent quality time with our nieces (Savannah and Analia) good friends and celebrated our 2nd Anniversary!



November was the month of the Women's retreat - this year was my first one, and I look forward to many more years of this tradition. And of course, Thanksgiving, Savannah's first, and we had the Agiulars over and even went and shot skeet out back (I HIT ONE!) that evening!  Fun day!

And even though December isn't over yet - it has been busy too!  We participated in the Milton Christmas Parade with the Royal Rangers (Daddy and Ken are over them) and G.E.M.S. - And won 1st place in the float competition!! Also, Ken and I were the "stars" in the church Christmas Program and boy was it a tear jerker...

Surgery for Ken

On Thursday (Dec 15th) Ken went in to have "explorartory surgery" on his prostate - their expectation of what would happen would be that they would go in and do some biopsies of the prostate and anything else they may see as an "emergency" or something they can do while they are in there.

While they were in there they see that he had a stricture in his urethea,  they hollowed that out.  When they looked at the prostate - it was great looking and needed NO biopsies!

So the pros and cons of this surgery for Ken:

Pros:
1) The stricture was the cause of the consistent (5+years) infection of the prostate - now that is fixed.
2) The stricture could have been some of the cause of infertility.
3) Constant antibiotics could have been some more of the cause of infertiflity.
4) The doctor said since this is done, it won't ever get that way again - so it is fixed permanently.
5) He has me to baby him for 4 straight days then after work the rest of the time

Cons:
1) He is stuck with a catheter for 12 days!
2) #1 is VERY VERY painful.
3) We are going to miss a lot of Christmas celebrations (so if you don't see us, don't be surprised)
4) He is going to miss a few doe days during hunting season (this is the worse for him I think)

Overall, this is looking to be a good thing - the infection has always put him in pain and was constantly uncomfortable. The catheter pain seems to be getting a little better, he is still (of course) uncomfortable, and painful, but not nearly as bad as the first day.  Keep us in your prayers as we continue on this journey together, our story, our life.

He cries with me...

I can't explain how I feel, or why the fact that God has spoken to me to let me know I will have a child one day doesn't make the sadness, emptiness, longing and hurt go away. It should - in all rights and purposes of faith and promises - I shouldn't feel this way every time.  So I cannot explain why these promise do not help most of the time.

I spent quite a bit of time on the phone with my mom - who helped put a lot of things (like how wonderfully blessed I am) into perspective.

Then I got off the phone, and talked to God.  A lot of it centered around "why" - some anger, some hurt, a lot of questions and confusion.  As I'm at my brink, tears streaming down my face, I finally give up and just let Him know - I won't stop waiting, I won't stop believing in His promise to me, but I will be weak at times, and He will have to carry me... and it will probably be more often than not...

At that time, I could swear He started crying with me. As the rain fell from the sky (the light sprinkle that stopped shortly after I went in) He wanted me to know something I haven't felt was true in a very long time. He loves and cares about what is hurting me.

My God loves me. He wants to take my hurt away.  One day He will lay out His plan - and it will all make sense why His timing is so perfect.

For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans for hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

My Faith Book

I'm living this dream and desire on complete faith.  God made me a promise a little less than 6 months ago - and though I don't know the when - there is no doubt on the if.

See this on sale and had to pick it up.  I'll keep it where I can see it and remind myself everyday that it is all in HIS good timing.