I feel like I'm ready to EXPLODE!!!!!
Start with update on my Pop's (Father in Law)... Over the last couple of days, we have had so many changes I don't think we know what is up, down, left or right! He is still unable to come off the ventilator. As of last night, they were going to move him to Acute Select Hospial in Pensacola (specialty hospital for life support patients). Things were looking good, and shouldn't have any problems. Then this morning we get a call that his kidneys have nearly stopped working all together, he has a blockage in his intestines and they aren't working to clear it, still breathing poorly and they needed to do surgery on his intestines so they were NOT going to transfer him to Acute Hospital. So we put in to have him moved to Sacred Heart. So all day today has been spent trying to get him moved. They finally got him in to his CCU room at SHH around 5:30 this evening and we were able to spend a little time with him. I think my scariest time during all this came tonight as we were going to leave. He was awake (why we aren't sure) so we were telling him where he was and that everything would be okay. He wanted to tell us something so badly he kept trying, we couldn't understand (obviously b/c of the ventilator) we tried to get him to sign it, but he didn't have the strength. He looked so frustrated and helpless. I think me and Amanda cried all the way home just about. It was just so frustrating. We are very glad to have him in more capable hands, even if the visiting times are a lot more strict. Don't get me wrong the nurses and respritory therapist were WONDERFUL at Santa Rosa, but the dr left much to be desired (we will leave it at that). Please keep Pops (Lee) in your prayers, and the rest of the family. This is a real rough time for everyone....
One of my friends grandmother's passed away today. She was such a wonderful woman. She had the patience of a saint! Haha She had to in order to put up with the two of us together! There are so many memories I have of her, but the one that sticks out most in my mind was, during one of her visits, she decided me and GG needed to learn to sew a button. So she wouldn't give in until we both knew how to sew a button. I have to say, that is a common memory that comes to mind because my husband is ALWAYS popping buttons on his shirts, and every time I sit down to sew it back on I have to say thank you to Grandma Ragsdale for that life lesson she had the patience and time to sit down and teach me. Heaven recieved a treasure today.
Ken FINALLY recieved some news from the doctors about everything that he has going on. One doctor wants to meet with him on Monday to go over previous test results, and the other wants to do an MRI to check for anything out of the ordinary before going into alternate treatments. Not really sure where this is all going to lead, but after almost a year, we are finally moving FORWARD!!!
Jeremiah 30:17 But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,' declares the Lord, 'because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares."
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
My family is back together
Well, it isn't all a happy story, but yes, my little family is all back together tonight. As you know if you keep up with my blog, my husband left last Friday to go hunting in Alabama. He was scheduled to come back on the 31st. So Rebel and I packed up and went to my momma's.
Something I am not sure if anyone was aware of is the fact that my father in law has been in the hospital for over a week (went in Sunday before last). He was having bad swelling in his legs, and his congestive heart failure (fluid around heart/lungs) was coming out some. Early Tuesday morning his CO2 levels sky rocketed (145, normal is around 30) and his oxygen bottomed out. They quickly put him into ICU and was monitoring him very closely. I left work to go be with Amanda and my mother in law. We waited, there were a couple times they had trouble rousing him out of sleep (no he was not on any meds to cause this), and we waited, and they finally decided to put him on a ventilator. He wasn't too keen on the idea, but he did decide to do it. The doctors were hoping that would take enough stress off of his body (trying to breathe and get oxygen everywhere it was needed) long enough to heal. I called Ken to tell him that his dad was now in critical care and updated him. He immediately came out of the tree to come home.
Today I went back to work and Ken stayed with his family. Pops (my father in law) blood gas level is much better, so they are going to attempt to wean him off the ventilation system tomorrow. They have to do it slowly to make sure he is breathing properly on his own. If he isn't they will have to put him back under and keep trying until he is.
So even though I get to lay in bed with my husband (and puppy dog) tonight and that I am grateful for, we are in dire need of your prayers for strength (those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength) and healing in Pops' body.
Something I am not sure if anyone was aware of is the fact that my father in law has been in the hospital for over a week (went in Sunday before last). He was having bad swelling in his legs, and his congestive heart failure (fluid around heart/lungs) was coming out some. Early Tuesday morning his CO2 levels sky rocketed (145, normal is around 30) and his oxygen bottomed out. They quickly put him into ICU and was monitoring him very closely. I left work to go be with Amanda and my mother in law. We waited, there were a couple times they had trouble rousing him out of sleep (no he was not on any meds to cause this), and we waited, and they finally decided to put him on a ventilator. He wasn't too keen on the idea, but he did decide to do it. The doctors were hoping that would take enough stress off of his body (trying to breathe and get oxygen everywhere it was needed) long enough to heal. I called Ken to tell him that his dad was now in critical care and updated him. He immediately came out of the tree to come home.
Today I went back to work and Ken stayed with his family. Pops (my father in law) blood gas level is much better, so they are going to attempt to wean him off the ventilation system tomorrow. They have to do it slowly to make sure he is breathing properly on his own. If he isn't they will have to put him back under and keep trying until he is.
So even though I get to lay in bed with my husband (and puppy dog) tonight and that I am grateful for, we are in dire need of your prayers for strength (those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength) and healing in Pops' body.
Friday, January 21, 2011
10 long days
Ken has left tonight for a 10 day hunting trip. I think in a way it is more than that for him, it is a trip for spiritual release, for thought, for conversation with God. I mean, what better place to talk to God than a place that is so quiet that you can hear Him speak back.
For me it is going to be a long 10 days! In the 4 years we have been together we have not been apart more than a day at a time, just a measely few hours. It is definitely going to be different being away from him so long. I was/am very anxious about it all, being alone, him being away, all the what if's that plauge my mind on a daily basis anyway.
However, after much prayer and giving my anxiety to Him, I do know that if this means a healing in Ken's soul about everything that is going on in our lives, then, he could take more than 10 days. I know that God will have His way with Ken during this trip. He is an awesome God and I can't wait to hear how He revealed himself to my husband during their hunting trip and healed my husband's mind and consoled him and loved on him. It is going to be an amazing trip, even if he doesn't bring home any deer.
For me it is going to be a long 10 days! In the 4 years we have been together we have not been apart more than a day at a time, just a measely few hours. It is definitely going to be different being away from him so long. I was/am very anxious about it all, being alone, him being away, all the what if's that plauge my mind on a daily basis anyway.
However, after much prayer and giving my anxiety to Him, I do know that if this means a healing in Ken's soul about everything that is going on in our lives, then, he could take more than 10 days. I know that God will have His way with Ken during this trip. He is an awesome God and I can't wait to hear how He revealed himself to my husband during their hunting trip and healed my husband's mind and consoled him and loved on him. It is going to be an amazing trip, even if he doesn't bring home any deer.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Fast 2011 - Day 5
Sorry I missed yesterday's blog.
Today wasn't such a hot day, and I'm not talking about the weather. I struggled with my food choices today, and ended up giving in tonight and eating my husband's red beans and rice (with 2 (1inch) pieces of sausage) for supper tonight. However, I am not going to beat myself up over it, I asked God's forgiveness for giving in to temptation and I am moving forward.
His grace is sufficient for me!!
Tomorrow is a new day, filled with veggies, love, and prayer!!
Today wasn't such a hot day, and I'm not talking about the weather. I struggled with my food choices today, and ended up giving in tonight and eating my husband's red beans and rice (with 2 (1inch) pieces of sausage) for supper tonight. However, I am not going to beat myself up over it, I asked God's forgiveness for giving in to temptation and I am moving forward.
His grace is sufficient for me!!
Tomorrow is a new day, filled with veggies, love, and prayer!!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Fast 2011 - Day 3
Finally coming out of the slump of sickness. Feeling a lot better after the second half of today, I slept most of the morning, a laid around most of the afternoon. Definitely ready to get back to work, missed to much of it today.
Unfortunately, coming out of the sickness has made me crave more than the past 2 days. I have stayed within my fast parameters, but do not feel like I have done my body justice. I have ate more not so good for me things... Well, I suppose it is mainly the quantity of them.
Breakfast consisted of a peanut butter sandwich (whole wheat sugar free bread) - this is a staple for me.
AM snack - handful of almonds
Lunch - Salad, which consisted of lettuce, tomatoes, onions, avacado (yes, a whole one, which was bad, but it would have gone to waste otherwise - have to get out of that mindset), kidney beans (my protein), and 2 tbsp of ranch. The biggest calorie killer in that?? The avacado = 250 cal!!!
PM snack (and no I didn't need it, I wanted it... I gave in to my cravings) - cup of hominy with cheese toast
And I have no clue what I am going to have for supper!! That is a dangerous position to be in. I will stay within my fast, as I want to honor God this month, and this is how I can do that. But it may not be good for my weight loss!!! Maybe I can come up with a good idea before supper...
Unfortunately, coming out of the sickness has made me crave more than the past 2 days. I have stayed within my fast parameters, but do not feel like I have done my body justice. I have ate more not so good for me things... Well, I suppose it is mainly the quantity of them.
Breakfast consisted of a peanut butter sandwich (whole wheat sugar free bread) - this is a staple for me.
AM snack - handful of almonds
Lunch - Salad, which consisted of lettuce, tomatoes, onions, avacado (yes, a whole one, which was bad, but it would have gone to waste otherwise - have to get out of that mindset), kidney beans (my protein), and 2 tbsp of ranch. The biggest calorie killer in that?? The avacado = 250 cal!!!
PM snack (and no I didn't need it, I wanted it... I gave in to my cravings) - cup of hominy with cheese toast
And I have no clue what I am going to have for supper!! That is a dangerous position to be in. I will stay within my fast, as I want to honor God this month, and this is how I can do that. But it may not be good for my weight loss!!! Maybe I can come up with a good idea before supper...
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Fast 2011 - Day 2
Today has been a rough day, I have a cold so I am miserable and craving comfort foods. You know the kind mac n cheese, biscuit and sausage gravy, fried foods, etc, etc, etc. Everything that is on my fast. But I have made it threw the day with fighting myself... Saying "this is Satan trying to de-rail me" "this fast is not about the food I'm giving up, it is about the self-discipline" "I am doing this to become closer to God, and no biscuit and gravy is worth that" And trust me, it was one heck of a fight at some points. But I have prevailed, with the power of God on my side. It is wonderful the things that happen with you hand it over to Him!
We just got some pretty bad news on one of the things on my prayer list. But that is okay, that will just make it that much more of a miracle that people see when God answers that prayer!!
"My fleshand my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26
We just got some pretty bad news on one of the things on my prayer list. But that is okay, that will just make it that much more of a miracle that people see when God answers that prayer!!
"My flesh
Monday, January 10, 2011
Fast 2011 ~ Day 1
Today wasn't so bad. I had a rough spell in the afternoon, but I think that was cravings more than anything. I need to get me some fruit to snack on during those times. There were a couple times I had to give my cravings to God. (Easier said than done)
I probably didn't have the most wholesome breakfast, but I'm not sure how to replace it, and it isn't meat or white breads so it fits. I had a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast.
Lunch consisted of pinto beans and green beans
Almonds for a snack
Supper will be mustard greens and black eye peas (adding a steak for Ken).
Looking through that, no fruit!! Definitely have to get to the grocery store and buy some fruit. That is not good!
I probably didn't have the most wholesome breakfast, but I'm not sure how to replace it, and it isn't meat or white breads so it fits. I had a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast.
Lunch consisted of pinto beans and green beans
Almonds for a snack
Supper will be mustard greens and black eye peas (adding a steak for Ken).
Looking through that, no fruit!! Definitely have to get to the grocery store and buy some fruit. That is not good!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
2011
It was a wonderful first day of 2011. We began the day sleeping in, then having a comfy breakfast at home, just the two of us (three counting Rebel). Then we went to the Wallace's for lunch, we cooked out and hung out with some great friends!! We had such a good time eating and playing cards, it was a great start to the new year.
Unfortunately through the day I started in with those horrible feelings of fear. I know that God is in control, regardless of the situation, I can't do anything to stop it, but He knows and He is in complete control. But why can't that be enough? Why am I still scared? I think that is what is most confusing to me right now.
I pray continuously, I know that if God chooses to call me home, it is Him I'm going to, but I wonder, is it a sin to not want to go just yet? I want to be with God, please don't get me wrong... but ah, I don't know how to put it into words right now.
Unfortunately through the day I started in with those horrible feelings of fear. I know that God is in control, regardless of the situation, I can't do anything to stop it, but He knows and He is in complete control. But why can't that be enough? Why am I still scared? I think that is what is most confusing to me right now.
I pray continuously, I know that if God chooses to call me home, it is Him I'm going to, but I wonder, is it a sin to not want to go just yet? I want to be with God, please don't get me wrong... but ah, I don't know how to put it into words right now.
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