What is faith?

So many things that have been going on in my life.... continuously.  It seems like it just keeps going, and it isn't good. Sickness, Depression, Surgeries, Hospitals, and the list goes on and on.

I thought the doctors finally had things figured out. After a painful surgery (okay, the after effect was more painful than anything, it is still painful) that they assure us that he is better. They LIE. He is going to be in pain for at least 2 more month AND it may not have helped ANYTHING - most especially the infection which he has been fighting for almost 4 years now!

Is faith continuing to walk... when you are ready to just give up and sit on the ground?  Correction: Lay on the ground on my stomach kicking my legs and screaming "I GIVE UP!!!" at the top of my lungs.

Is faith believing even when you see no results?  Really.... how long can you go without any results? At all.

Is there something He wants from us before showing up?

I am doubting my faith.  I know the right answers "God will supply" "Have faith" "He will be there" but the actual believing in my heart portion of this... it ain't happening.  I wish I could say I'm strong and can get through this, but I'm really beginning to wonder.  And I'm not doing anything but repeating myself over and over, because nothing ever changes, so I'm sure all this is getting old to everyone. 

Maybe it's time to just accept this is how life is going to be and let it go.

Girls Night Out

I love my girlfriends!  I prayed for so long for good friends, and God blessed me with not one, but many!!  We had so much fun at The Melting Pot on 1/13/12.  I don't think I have laughed so much or so hard in a LONG LONG time!! 

Happy 2012

I hope that everyone spent New Years Eve with those they wish to be with this new year! I know that I did!  I was surrounded with family and amazing friends!

My goals for this year center around getting healthy - both physically and spiritually. Just to share...

• Cook more at home
• Eat out less (yes they go hand in hand) - 1x a week at most
• Drink more water (only 1 glass of coffee/tea per day)
• Exercise daily (even if it is only a 20 minute walk)
• Lose 1-2 lbs per week (20lbs by April)
• Read the bible through
• Spend some one on one time with my Savior - I really need to seek His direction in my life and stop whining about things not going MY way.

So far everything is working out well, except for the exercise - and I plan on focusing on that tomorrow.

I hope everyone has a BLESSED and PROSPEROUS 2012!