Interview and other things... sorry got off subject

I was finally interviewed for the job that I want.  It is the QC (Quality Coach) Team Lead position.... more commonly known as "Renee's position" at work haha. I think it went very well, there were some things I was able to say Thank You to God for bringing ideas and thoughts into my head so quickly.  We all know I can be slow sometimes.  I should know sometime next week the decision on the position. 

Ken took me to dinner tonight, we were gonna do a movie to but decided not to. 

For the most part I am doing the same, still have pains in my chest, arm, headaches, etc.  I am still having to fight the fear but I am overcoming with God's grace and help.  I take the thoughts that scare me captive and plead the blood of Jesus over them. There is no need to worry over these things, because I cannot control these things and the worrying and panic/anxiety over them is keeping me from truly living.  God is good and is delivering me from them. 

This Sunday I get to sing in church, I'm singing a beautiful song sung by Kathryn Scott called "Grace has called my name" ... a definition of grace is  "A favor rendered by one who need not do so".  There are so many things that Jesus did for me as "a favor" that he didn't need to do.  The biggest one is He died on the cross so that I can spend eternity in heaven with Him!  I may be worried/scared about the pain I may go through before that time, but I can only imagine what He has in store when I'm there, its just the getting there that I worry about!  He has shown grace by delivering me from sin, I don't have any desire to be out partying, drinking, etc and I know that is His grace that has taken that away.  God is awesome.  I am so thankful for the blessings He has given me. 

I am so blessed, I have a good home, a good job, the possiblity of a better position, wonderful God loving/fearing family, awesome nieces and nephews that I get to watch grow up, and most of all a spectacular husband.  Some of my favorite times is talking about "wow God" moments with my husband and agreeing how awesome He is, and my husband's prayers and support for me is the best thing in the world, it really warms my heart.  How awesome is God to give me all of this!!!

Frustrated

I've about had it with this fear crap. I could sit here and list symptoms all day... chest pains, up high and under the breast bone, in the center, on the left, on the right, under the left arm (all at different times)... sharp pain in left shoulder blade, tightness in chest, feeling like something is stuck in my throat, burns when I breathe in sometimes, headache - pain in the left temple, top of head, neck.... and on and on... okay, well that is most of it, except for some pains shooting up through my legs but that just started tonight.  haha. I sound like I'm falling apart.

I laugh, but it is so frustrating, because though, especially looking at the symptoms, I'm not falling apart, I just have gas and indigestion, I'm stressed so I have a headache and neckache, and it's cold so it burns when I breathe in or maybe I'm getting a cold. I really have to fight myself to convience myself that I'm not.  I'm tired of that.  I know that my God is awesome... I know that my God is a healer... I know my God is greater than ANY other.  But it is hard to convience myself, that something isn't wrong with me.  I don't know why. 

If you happen across this blog, pray for me... I need it. 

SURPRISE!!!

I pulled it off!  I surprised Ken with a graduation party this weekend!!! 

I am so proud of my husband.  He has worked very hard the past 2 years to make our lives better, to better himself, and to move up in this dog-eat-dog world.  He finally completed his Masters Degree!  He took many online classes to accomplish this over the past two years!  The poor thing had to work on school work on most of our vacations, including our honeymoon!!  But it was well worth it, and it is over now!  He worked very hard and made mostly A's in all of his classes. 

A couple months ago, I started plotting and planning.  I came up with a surprise party for him.  I was not very confident that I would pull it off.  I told family and close friends about it and reminded them a week before.  I was able to get an awesome friend to cater it for me, and an awesome chica to make the cake!!  Everything was AMAZING!  Daddy invited Ken to go out to Berrydale to go to a Sugar Cane Syrup thing... then to see my brother's processing place (deer meat), then had to stop by the church on the way home, "for ice".  We all hid when Daddy called Jennifer to tell her where he was at... and when Ken walked around those partions, it was the best!!!  He was so surprised!!  I knew at that moment he was honest to goodness surprised!!  It was awesome!!!  :)  Pictures soon on Facebook.

November

New month, new start.   I have slipped in my weight loss.  I haven't gained a lot, but still I'm not losing. It is frustrating, but it is all my fault, so I can't be frustrated with anyone by myself.  So I have a plan for November and here goes.

• Work out 6 days a week for 20 minutes
• 3 of those work outs with Jillian Michaels 30DS
• More fruits & veggies
• Less breads
• cut portions of meat
• cut portions all together

My realistic goal is to be at 215 by Christmas, my not so realistic goal, I would love to be under 200 by the first of the year.  But that is ~ 3 lb a week so a little over normal so it most likely won't happen.  I will get there.