So many things that have been going on in my life.... continuously. It seems like it just keeps going, and it isn't good. Sickness, Depression, Surgeries, Hospitals, and the list goes on and on.
I thought the doctors finally had things figured out. After a painful surgery (okay, the after effect was more painful than anything, it is still painful) that they assure us that he is better. They LIE. He is going to be in pain for at least 2 more month AND it may not have helped ANYTHING - most especially the infection which he has been fighting for almost 4 years now!
Is faith continuing to walk... when you are ready to just give up and sit on the ground? Correction: Lay on the ground on my stomach kicking my legs and screaming "I GIVE UP!!!" at the top of my lungs.
Is faith believing even when you see no results? Really.... how long can you go without any results? At all.
Is there something He wants from us before showing up?
I am doubting my faith. I know the right answers "God will supply" "Have faith" "He will be there" but the actual believing in my heart portion of this... it ain't happening. I wish I could say I'm strong and can get through this, but I'm really beginning to wonder. And I'm not doing anything but repeating myself over and over, because nothing ever changes, so I'm sure all this is getting old to everyone.
Maybe it's time to just accept this is how life is going to be and let it go.
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