Sea of life

First day of June.  Thank God – May was HELL.  Here’s to a better June.   I guess from the beginning of the month I struggled with depression, questions, doubt, hate, frustration.  I was over it all – done with trying done with hoping done with caring. I had great moments with amazing family and friends, but internally – I was dead.  Still kinda feel that way.  However, last night, we went out with Heidi and her dad to the Gulf to attempt snapper fishing.  While we were in the thick of the rolling waves God spoke with me and told me “Ride the waves with Me.  Just let go, and ride.”  That is much easier said than done, but I’m going to try.  To let go… not have to be in control… just ride.  It was a hard, choppy ride out to the gulf.  I realized though, on the way back, it was “smooth sailing”  though you could still see the rolling high waves … it was just small, smooth bumps.  And He showed me… See how much easier it is when you are not fighting the waves?  When you are in control or trying to be – you are fighting the waves, which creates and extremely rough ride, harsh ups and downs.  If you let go and go with the current, the current I created, I control, I formed, you may still have ups and downs, but it is a LOT smoother.  You still look out and see the turning the choppy high overpowering waves, but you can cruising along quite smoothly.   Thank you God.