God spoke... time to listen

The only problem is, I'm not 100% sure what I heard, and if it was supposed to be what stuck out.

First it started off when Mrs Debbie read a kids book by Karen Kingsbury about your children's lasts. Beautiful book, which that book doesn't bother me, but it was odd the way she started it, with a "disclaimer" so to speak that it was not meant to hurt those without, who can't, or who've lost.

Then Pastor preached a message titled, "Desiring to be a Mother". He focused on 2 scriptures.
Genesis 30:1 "When Rachel saw that she wasn’t having any children for Jacob, she became jealous of her sister. She pleaded with Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!”" and
1 Samuel 1:10-11 "Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord. And she made this vow: “O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime, and as a sign that he has been dedicated to the Lord, his hair will never be cut."

I have to be honest, if my brother and sisters and niece and nephews hadn't been there I was inches from walking out. My heart was already open and sore. I didn't want anymore. I know that feeling, the utter dispair, helplessness, that you will die. I have made vows to God, though I am very careful not to vow to something I cannot follow through on. I know how desperate these women are. Though obviously if you look at me I haven't been driven to the lack of eating :)

Pastor finished off with another verse (well to be honest, I think this all tied in spiritually somewhere but the spiritual part was not what I needed so I cannot remember exactly how that tied in.) and this is the verse I am claiming for me.

Genesis 30:22-23 "And God remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to her, and opened her womb. And she conceived, and bare a son; and said, God hath taken away my reproach."

So I am claiming that for myself. "God remember ME, Toshana, and open my womb."

It still ripped at my heart, made me ornery and not wanting to be around people. I did good, and LOVED being with my family today. I get home, and there is a beautiful blog by a beautiful woman who has struggled with infertility, or rather less fertility and she blessed me with her story and her kind words. And her ending scripture touched my heart.

1 Samuel 1:27 Rebekah's cry to God was heard... ""I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him." "