Interesting Day

Never think that God's delays are God's denials. Hold on; hold fast; hold out. Patience is genius. -Comte de Buffon


So we are on our way to church this morning and there is a preacher on the radio station Ken listens to (some AM station) and typically he turns it, but for whatever reason (God) he doesn't this morning, and we're listening to the preacher talk about Job. Now not in a million years would I have associated Job to being a book of the bible that would help me with what I'm going through. But the preacher was talking about how even though Job never CALLED God unjust, he felt that He was not just to him. He just didn't understand why.

I have been beating myself up for feeling like God has abandoned me in my wants/desires. But even Job felt that way, a great man of God. Now granted he went through a LOT worse than I am, but just the same, each persons pain is their pain and it is a lot to them. But even Job wondered what he had done to cause God to be unjust.

THEN, we are in church, singing in worship (great service) and Pastor John says that even though Job had to go through a lot, and lose everything, in the end he got it all back and then some. WOW. Now that just did me in... It was like God tapped me on my shoulder and whispered in my ear, "all back and THEN SOME."

I of course couldn't hold the tears back and to the alter I go. God please open my womb, please help me, I'm tired of feeling this pain in my heart, it's getting old month after month, year after year. And my wonderful husband, my momma and Mrs. Tiawana was praying for me. Later Tiawana said that all week I've been coming to her mind, and the passage that came to hear was in the old testament, when the woman came crying to the alter, and they thought she was drunk she was crying so much,she wanted God to open her womb. Tiawana was just amazed when she opened her eyes that I was at the alter crying to God.

So a lot has happened today. My eyes have been opened that it is okay to feel that it's not fair, as long as I don't give up faith that one day... one sweet day, God will open my womb and I will be able to praise Him for the child He has given us.