2 Timothy 1:7

This is my "to live by verse" especially right now. God did not give me a spirit of fear, but of POWER, LOVE, and a SOUND MIND. 

This past year I have struggled with a severe fear of dying. It is the oddest of things, because I know that when I do die I am going to be with my Lord and Savior.  I have no doubts about that.  Or do I?  Could that be something?  The root of my fear that Satan in honing in on?   I KNOW that God sent Jesus to die for me so that I could go to heaven to worship Him for eternity.  I went about 2 months not even knowing what to call this scared-ness.  Then God showed me and I started calling Satan out on it with the above scripture.  It had gone away and I was able to enjoy my life to the fullest.

My fears always centered around my death, and sometimes I could have vivid thoughts/images about it.  Satan would put pictures into my head about car accidents, crashes, etc that I couldn't control.  The biggest fear though is a heart attack, stroke, blood clot, and/or an aneurysm, all health related.  I think  maybe some of that took root after my surgery.  I had some problems w/it, well not really, but kinda, but the last thing I remember before hand is me thinking I made a mistake and shaking my head back and forth when they put the gas mask on me.  They said I fought like that for about 10 minutes after I was "out".  Then getting the blood clot (PE) about a month later.  I KNOW that God was with me during these situations and He pulled me out of them.  But I wonder if this is where the fear took root at.

Anyways, I haven't had any bothers with this for over 6 months.  Praise God!  Then last night it hit me again.  It was 3am before I could pray through it and get some rest.  It was continuous thoughts running through my head... "My heart is beating fast, surely it is beating fast, am I about to have a heart attack?"  "My head hurts awfully bad, its a wierd kind of tingly hurt... am I about to die from an aneuresym?"  "Will Ken wake up to a dead wife?"  alllllllllll night loooong Satan threw these thoughts at me.  I just kept praying God's love and comfort and healing power of protection over me and quoting that scripture... in my own ad lib way  "God did NOT give me a spirit of fear, but of POWER over satan, LOVE for Him and everyone, and a SOUND MIND!!!"   I was able to go to sleep, like I said, around 3am (the alarm went off at 7am).  But I have had a little twinge of the fears as the day progressed.  Satan is NOT going to keep me from sleeping tonight so I am well rested to worship my LORD tomorrow during church.

I know that I need to keep my mouth shut about my fears, and speak ONLY of God's promises of PEACE & SAFTEY so that Satan will know HE IS DEFEATED.  So I looked up some more scriptures to start memorizing and thought I would share them with you, in case anyone out there is in the same boat (even if not about the same thing) as I am.

Psalm 12:2    Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my  strength and my song; He has become my salvation.
Psalm 23:4    I will fear no evil for You (God) are with me.
Psalm 27:1    The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?    The  Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 34:4    I  sought the Lord and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.
Psalm 41:10-13 KJV    Fear not, for I am with you.  Be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you.  Yes, I will help you.  Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of My righteousness.  Behold, all they that were incensed against you shall be ashamed and confounded.  They shall be as nothing.  They that strive with you shall perish.  You shall seek them and shall not find them that contend with you.  They that war against you shall be as nothing.
Psalm 56:3    Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.Isaiah 26:3    You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.
Isaiah 35:3,4 KJV    Strengthen you the weak hands and confirm the feeble knees.  Say to them that are of a fearful heart, "Be strong, fear not.  Behold, your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompense.  He will come and save you."
Isaiah 41:10    Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
Luke 8:50     Do not be afraid.  Only believe.
Luke 10:19    I give you the authority to trample on serpents, scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy.  Nothing shall by any means hurt you. 
Romans 8:15    For you have not received the (evil) spirit of bondage again to fear; bur you have received the (Holy) Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
Hebrews 13:5-6    God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."  So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?"
1st John 4:18 RKJV     There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out (looses/evicts/exterminates) fear  because fear has torment.  He that fears is not (yet) made perfect in love.
Looks like I have a lot of memorizing to do.  I need more in my arsenal against the enemy!  Until then, I will just have to get up and read, read, and re-read over and over again.

Many Blessings of Peace to you ALL.